When Home Isn’t Where the House Is
Rethinking what it truly means to age in place.
The Second Act Apartment
In June 2025, The Times ran a story that felt surprisingly radical for something so simple. John and Louise Dryden, aged 62 and 52, had just sold their five-bedroom house in East Sussex. The kind of place people usually stay in forever. The sort of house that gets referred to as “the family home” even when the kids are long gone and the dog has died.
But they weren’t looking for permanence. They were looking for life.
So they bought a bright three-bedroom apartment in the middle of Brighton & Hove. Not a retirement village. Not a sea change. Just a proper city home - close to cafés, tennis courts, bookshops, jazz, and interesting people. They walk more. They see friends more. They spend less time maintaining and more time living.
And most days, they say they feel younger.
The Numbers Behind the Nesting Instinct
In Australia, we’ve almost sanctified the idea of staying put. Nine in ten older Australians say they want to age in their own homes. The entire system is now leaning hard into home care and “ageing in place.”
But here’s the nuance: the phrase “your own home” might not always mean this one.
“We think home is where we’ve been the longest.
But maybe it’s where we feel most alive.”
When older people choose to move, on their own terms, the research shows they often become more independent, more connected, more vibrant. And across the UK, the US, and parts of Europe, there’s a growing trend: older adults choosing walkable neighbourhoods, closer to culture, community, and convenience. They're not being forced out, they’re finding their way back in.
Don’t Confuse Memory With Meaning
There’s something sacred about a house filled with history. The kitchen where your son first stood on a chair to help stir the bolognese. The garden you over-planted every spring. The faded growth chart on the laundry wall.
But the question isn’t whether those things mattered. It’s whether they still do.
“This isn’t about downsizing.
It’s about upshifting — toward the life you still want to lead.”
Home is not a museum. It’s not the past preserved in bricks and mulch. It’s the place where your present still makes sense.
That might be exactly where you are right now and if so, hold it tight.
But it also might be somewhere else. Somewhere smaller, nearer, easier, louder, livelier. Somewhere your days feel less like maintenance and more like momentum.
Stay If It Works. Go If It Calls.
Let’s be clear: I’m not here to talk anyone into moving. For many, the right home is the current one. Familiar walls. Neighbours who wave. A sunroom that still gets the morning light.
But if staying is only happening because moving feels like defeat, it’s worth pausing.
“Ask not just ‘what will I lose if I leave?’ but also ‘what might I gain if I don’t stay?’”
John and Louise didn’t move because they were pushed. They moved because they were pulled. Toward a version of life that felt fuller. Lighter. More them.
That kind of decision isn’t about geography. It’s about agency.
Your Task: Follow the Feeling
Let’s keep this practical.
Find three places where you already feel most like yourself. Not metaphorically - literally. A café, a park bench, a walking trail, a local library.
Ask what it would take to build a life around that feeling. Less driving? More companionship? A smaller space? A different pace?
Then take one actual step. Look at a listing. Visit a suburb. Talk to someone who’s moved. Attend a community event somewhere new.
You're not planning your move. You're plotting your freedom.
Because home isn’t just a place on a map. It’s the feeling that your life - your real life - still has places to go.